By Shirley Hawkins
Contributing Writer
SOUTH LOS ANGELES — When Darlene Burke’s former boyfriend was sentenced to 25 years to life in a California prison, Burke searched for a support group to help her cope with the lengthy separation.
“I searched everywhere and I quickly realized that no such group existed,” Burke said. “I was shocked.”
Undeterred, Burke established Ten Toes In in February 2014 to help women and their incarcerated partners cope with relationship issues and that would also offer them the resources that they needed for their journey.
“Ten Toes In is a mentorship and domestic violence prevention program and we support, educate and empower couples during and after incarceration,” Burke said. “We assist formerly incarcerated men reenter society successfully and help them to maintain a healthy relationship with their female partner.”
A reentry and intimate relationships consultant, Burke facilitates workshops on incarceration, reentry and relationships with the state Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, the the state Parole Department, the Los Angeles County Office of Education, and several nonprofit organizations as well as universities and colleges.
Beginning with just a handful of participants, Ten Toes In now offers hands-on programs as partners navigate their way back into society. Ten Toes In is now facilitated in prisons throughout California.
The four groups that operate under the Ten Toes In umbrella are the monthly mentorship support group, an intimate relations group, the sister support group and a couples support group.
The mentorship support group is designed for formerly incarcerated men who discuss the challenges and victories of their reentry journey that includes relationship issues, housing, employment, education and family reunification.
“Men in the mentorship support group also serve as accountability partners to each other, providing a safe space for them to speak freely about their challenges and victories,” Burke said. “They also become mentors to newly released men from jail or prison and help them to assimilate back into society.
The curriculum is a six-month course where participants are given the tools to be in a healthy relationship with their partners. Participants take part in role playing and must actively participate in all discussions. Guest speakers share wisdom, experience and encouragement. At the end of the six-month curriculum, participants attend a graduation ceremony where each receives a certificate of achievement.
For the women, Ten Toes In hosts a twice monthly sister support group meeting for women who are intimately involved with incarcerated and formerly incarcerated men.
The couples support group is for formerly incarcerated men and their partners to discuss challenges and joys in their relationships while also bonding with other couples on the same journey.
“I want the world to know that Ten Toes In is changing the narrative of how society regards incarcerated and formerly incarcerated men and the women who love and support them,” Burke said. “We represent second chances and by giving our members the opportunity to transform their lives, they can become productive citizens in their community and leaders in their households.
Christopher Moreno, a member of Ten Toes In, said that he and his partners robbed 10 banks in three years.
“I served 19 years on a 23-year sentence and went to six different prisons,” he said. “I came home in 2014 and I shared my story with Ms. Burke as well as the women in the Ten Toes In group.”
With the help of Ten Toes In, Moreno, a former member of the Crips, was able to sever his gang ties and turn his life around.
He got married and with guidance and counseling from Ten Toes In, he and his wife are happier than ever.
“I own a small business, Moreno Mobile Car Detailing and I work part time for a steel company,” Moreno said. “I love the support and camaraderie that Ten Toes In offers. I am a part of the mentorship program. Ten Toes In gives us a place to express ourselves, identify what we’re all going through and encourage each other.”
The organization has given hope and guidance to hundreds of former inmates who are now leading productive lives.
“I am excited about the fact that we have a 98% success rate of our members not returning to jail or prison,” Burke said. “In addition, 85% of our members are gainfully employed or business owners.
“For the most part, it has been a very rewarding journey because Ten Toes In is fulfilling a need in our community and providing a safe space for our members to share their journey and not be judged.”
Ten Toes In can be contacted at www.tentoesin.org
Shirley Hawkins is a freelance reporter for Wave Newspapers. She can be reached at shirleyhawkins700@gmail.com.
